Author Toni Morrison said, “You are your best thing.” That is one of the best quotes that can describe us as people of colour.
Growing up, I was not always the most confident. I have written posts about body image and how people police women’s bodies when they gain little weight. I have also written about the hair image. What is good hair versus bad hair? How do people define you by your coils? But now, I want to speak on one’s self-image.
For some time, I felt like my body was inappropriate because people in my life made me feel that way. My body type was considered vulgar and provocative, and truth be told, I believed it. So I did everything to cover it up. But the truth is can someone’s natural body type be vulgar. So what makes a body type vulgar?
Our History
I think that this goes way back. Way back before our parents and before our parents’ parents. It goes back to our ancestors. Enslaved people were told who they were. Black women with wide hips were suitable for breeding. We were treated as freak shows like Sarah Baartman – the woman placed in a cage at the circus for her wide hips and ample buttocks. I am familiar with a feature I see every day when I look in the mirror. Someone once told me that if I was born back then, I could easily be the carnival woman like it was a compliment. It was not. I am not a freak show.
What’s funny is while my body is something that needs to be covered and hidden, it is also a representation of blackness for many. So women who are not shaped like me are also criticised as missing something. For some reason, it is like black women can’t win. They are either too sexy or not sexy enough, too dark or not dark enough. Their hair is too thick or not kinky enough. We are a race that is so diverse; we come in different shades, our bodies different shapes and our hair in different textures. But we are black!
We have to stop fighting each other and lifting each other. But before we can lift each other, we need to start lifting ourselves.
New Self-Image: You are the Best Thing
So, women of colour, I ask you to join me in shedding the history that still tries to oppress us. Let’s tell ourselves these affirmations.
- My body is my own. It is not a sexual object for men’s pleasure or delight.
- God makes my body and in his image, therefore it is neither vulgar nor inappropriate.
- I am not a freak show for people’s comic relief or spectacle.
- I am beautiful
- I am a Queen
- My daughter is beautiful. She is or will be a queen.
- My son shall be a King; he is not a savage.
- I am black; I am proud!
You can start with these, change them up and make some for yourself. But give yourself a daily reminder of your worth and let no one take that away from you. Happy Black History Month, XOXO!
