Growth is the Only Evidence of Life

“Growth is the only evidence of life,” – John Henry Newman.

When I turned 33 years old, I had many plans about what I wanted to achieve, and with COVID-19, it just became more and more difficult for any of these things to come to life. Growth has always been significant to me; being stuck and failure has always been my greatest fear. COVID is one thing that can make your fear seem like such a reality.

It was not an easy year catching COVID, and being an asthmatic was life-altering. I did not feel like I achieved what I wanted due to financial and emotional struggles as my anxiety worsened. Then not to mention the number of loved ones I have lost from family to former coworkers. Everything has been taking a toll. But with all these setbacks, was I stuck or just measuring my growth on where I thought I should be and what I believed others expected from me. Was my measuring stick based on an unrealistic checklist? Well, not really. It is just that life happens, and sometimes we have to learn not to be rigid.

Here are eight things I learnt by 34.

Growth, while it is the evidence of life, it is not necessarily linear.

We always believe that the evidence of growth is monetary or something that we can see. So a promotion or a successful business and with personal life marriage or a child. Something that we can see. But growth is not linear; sometimes, you have to stay at a level that you are not comfortable with to learn valuable lessons; this is not limited to skills. Maybe you need to learn something as simple as patience before you can go to your next level.

Speak less and listen more.

I have always been observant, and that has always made me a little good at reading people. While that is the case, it is crucial also to know not to speak too much. Do not deal out all your cards. Not everyone needs to know what you are planning, your goals, and what you are trying to achieve. You will find that you might even learn more by having people think you are not paying attention—the closest thing to being a fly on the wall.

Not all acts of Kindness is Kindness.

Shannon L Alder says it best, “Being kind to someone, only to look kind to others, defeats the purpose of being kind.” Of course, there are different kinds of kindness, and sometimes it is ok to say, ‘no, thank you. Your intuition will tell you when it is genuine, and trust that instinct. However, no matter the rut you are in, sometimes it is better to walk away from handouts because you might think you are saying thanks to a gift when you say yes to obligations and favours and an imaginary milestone.

Let your loved ones know you care.

In the past year, I have lost quite a few loved ones, former coworkers and family. When it came to my cousin Warrel I know he knew how much I loved him. But for my former coworkers, part of me wonders if Crosby knew how much I appreciated him acting as a second dad to me or did Theo know how much his hugs gave me comfort and how much I appreciated him checking in on me. My cousin Ricky and I lost touch, but I have fond memories of him giving me a whole lot of trouble when I was a child. He was such a free spirit. He was so much older, so out of respect, I tried calling him uncle as I called his sisters aunty. ‘Just call me Ricky,’ he said. So I did. The losses affected me each one, but there were unsaid words. Ensure you never have unspoken words.

Self-care is necessary.

I wrote my piece 5 Ways to Take Care of your Mental Health during COVID. These tips were not subject to COVID only. We all need to take care of our mental health in whatever way possible because the truth is life is hard, and we need to take time to heal or recuperate. Take some time to read that post and see why mental wellness is essential. Growth is hard to achieve if you are too exhausted.

Do not limit yourself.

I am in a job where I was not sure if I would be able to do. I was trained in journalism and did that for five years. So getting into digital marketing was a leap. By the time I got used to it, COVID had come in, and I managed social media accounts and was doing presentations, graphics, and assisting in digital training lesson plans. As each task came my way, I doubted myself, and sometimes I thought my boss was crazy to put certain things in my hand, but I managed to accomplish all. My brother challenged me to do my podcast, and my friends and sister did the same with my hair care line. So trust your instincts and never give up on yourself. It will be hard, and you might cry yourself to sleep a few times when you think you are failing. But if you stick to it, you may surprise yourself.

Keep some things private.

In a social media age, we feel the need to share everything. But the world doesn’t need to know everything. Privacy is something to be cherished, and guarding your heart is biblical, and this is something you should evaluate. Read this post on Social Media Etiquette.

Faith is my comfort.

I am not the perfect Christian. I have my struggles, but God has indeed brought me comfort at my lowest through great friends, praying parents and protecting me from myself. My faith is a part of me that I will keep working on no matter how much I slip.

I am sure there are more lessons to learn and a lot more room to grow after all, ‘growth is the only evidence of life.’ XOXO