Yes Toxic naturals do exist.
I am a natural hair advocate. I have encouraged my friends to appreciate their natural mane. But do I think the natural hair community can be toxic? Unfortunately, yes, and here’s why.
Firstly, let me say I was inspired to write this after seeing a tik tok of a woman saying that the natural hair community is toxic. She explained that she returned natural, and while her hair was beautiful, the maintenance was complex and she had to use so many products to keep it hydrated.
Is the natural hair process harder?
Being someone that has never had processed hair, I do not know if I can objectively say that the maintenance is more complicated than not. Before both my sister and mom returned natural, they could not scratch their hair for fear of getting burnt on process day. They did not want it to get wet. They had to set or wrap daily. To me, that seemed like a world more maintenance than my natural hair, but they did not have combs breaking in their hair. They did not have to struggle detangling as I did and with the exception of relaxer day, wash day was much shorter. So both types have their pros and cons. While I encourage people to love their hair, I do not believe that natural hair is for everyone.
I love my hair, so the extended hours on wash day does not seem half as bad. On the occasions when I have braided my hair after two weeks I was over the braids. I missed running the comb through my hair. But some persons cannot manage to slot out several hours out of their day just to deal with hair, especially if they have children. Too often, the natural hair community turn up their noses at people who find it difficult to upkeep, like how this tik toker was attacked by some people in her comments by being called lazy. I will go a step further. I believe that we are sometimes too divided as a community.
How natural is truly natural?
It is like we have to be a certain kind of natural to indeed be natural. If you are a type 3 hair, you are mixed, so you do not understand the struggle of kinky hair. It is as if you are not natural enough. On the other hand, your very own natural hair is not seen as professional if you have kinky hair. You are told in some companies that you cannot wear it out, and an afro is seen as unkempt (this is not only a natural hair issue. This is a black issue, period)
We as a community can encourage people to love their natural hair without trying to impose and dictate what a true naturalista should look like. In fact, we need to come away from the thought process that if someone processes their hair, they do not like their own hair. The same way that wearing makeup does not mean you are self-hating.
Mission
Do not get me wrong. I know that there are persons that do hate their natural hair. Educating them and letting them know that they should feel beautiful in their own skin is delicate. But let us not judge persons who do not want to maintain their natural hair. Also, let us know that our hair comes in different colours, coils, kinks, curls and porosity. There is no ideal one way to look. Women and men need to also understand that what grows out of our routes cannot be inappropriate. So if you opt to keep your hair in one, it does not mean someone who decides to let theirs out is unprofessional. A coil should not be more socially acceptable. A kink is not more natural than a curl.
Being natural is about bringing people together. Helping each other to love ourselves. Tearing down each other defeats this purpose.
Love each other whether coil, kinky or relaxed. All hair type matters. XOXO