Yes, I cut it again. This time it was not because it was breaking off or that I wanted to grow back healthy. It was because I wanted change and control and I can control my hair so I did.
The Cut
It is funny how attached other people are to your hair. How much they identify it as a piece of you. In some ways it is. But as I had the barber Mario (he is awesome by the way) cut my strands, I felt like I was shedding my skin.
Lately, I feel like I have lost some of that control. Never did I think that at 32 years old I would be where I am. Do not get me wrong I am in a better place than many. However, you know the expectations you put on your life. You know the career goals, financial goals, the relationship goals and in my case the spiritual goals you have set. It is one thing to think you have failed people. A completely different thing when you think that you have failed yourself. It is an emotional battle.
Why the Change?
We all go through challenges and sometimes you just need to regain control. I started to take steps in order to do so. But there are things I wanted to change and can’t. One thing I could change though is the 3-4 hours I took on my hair. Or the 45 minute bun that helped to induce my already severe migraine. People I do love my hair. I love every curl and coil. But I also needed more time. I needed 5 minutes to not do anything, 20 more minutes to write, 30 minutes to read and an hour to plan and more money in my pocket that right now I will not be spending on hair products.
Coco Knows Best
I know this is not ideal to some people but these are the same people who don’t really check on you when you’re down. They are not around to see your tears. So I got up and did the chop again because, hey, I needed to control something and for now that is my hair. Plus Coco Chanel said it best, “a woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” I have some life changing to do and for the first in a long while I feel like I will be able to do it. I am not there, no where close but I am making baby steps and I can say I am excited.
So I am sharing this post for my sisters who might be going through a rough time. You might be making some radical unpopular decisions. Some strange ones that do not make any sense to anyone but if you aren’t hurting anyone and for me hurting God, who really cares. If that step takes you a bit closer to your greatness then take it, you only get one life. This is not Altered Carbon, it is reality.
BE strong and find courage in your weakness, believe me you are stronger than you are. XOXO!
Please note: I am not telling anyone to go cut their hair, this is a post telling you to take steps that are comfortable for you.
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